Comedy Central Salvaged Content
[back to grid] | [section home]

Where a cyborg in pursuit of the cute can computer

Female cyborg, 2, seeks male cyborg, 3-5. I'm 5'6, 475. Looking for a man who likes long drives on the beach, eating Neil Sedaka records, and rhymes with orange. No freon users or gunpowder snorters.
Box 3539
Johnny Five: Are you still alive? Call me. Ally.
Box 2352
Male San Francisco Cyborg, 5, seeks other ethnic young male cyborg. Floppy disks need not apply.
Box 5236
Cybor ad
Looking for someone tall, dark, and handsome? Cyborg Imperial Force leader seeks non-Rebel for good time. Find out if it's true what they say about the Dark Side.
Box 1679
Henry: Why haven't you called? Is there another woman? Someone with big gazonga microchips, probably. I bet they're all silicon. They'll be shot by 2000, you watch.
Box 6578
Detroit Male Policecyborg, 15, seeks female to help me remember my past. Dead or alive, you're coming with me.
Box 7348
Three male teen cyborg brothers seek three young female cyborg sisters for Mmm-Bop time.
Box 4571
Male cyborg, 13, seeks female cyborg, 8-10, who can help me with an upgrade. Must be religious and willing to worship McGwire with me for an hour a day.
Box 3599
Dear D.A.R.R.Y.L.: I saw you on TV last week. If you're reading this, give me a call!
Box 7456
Do you like a man in uniform? Male, thirtyish, seeks female cyborg to assist me in identity issue. And also for "enjoyable time". Must be comfortable with eyepatches.
Box 6845
Female cyborg seeks other female cyborg for interspatial relationship. Come out with me for a stardate and I'll take you where no woman has gone before. P.S. You must be able to get along with my other 8 siblings, and not invoke wrath of Khan.
Box 0079
Cyborg couple seeks submissive laptop for Mnage a Tron. Important: Must swing AC and DC.
Box 3474
Hello, my name is Teddy. Will you be my friend? Must be comfortable with repetitive conversation.
Box 2287
I, Robot, seek cyborg for ethereal time. I'll give a charge to your positronic brain. However, a few ground rules:
1.A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2.A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3.A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
Box 9332
Dear E: Please phone home. We miss you. Love, Mom. P.S. Please stop hanging out with that slut Drew.
Box 9962