Comedy Central Salvaged Content
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Antoine's unmatched ability to plan and organize has earned him a place in America's secret history as one of the great strategists of all time, a skill he carefully uses to create chaos with the Upright Citizens Brigade. But what place does organizational skill have in a cabal devoted to the proliferation of chaos? "Chaos is like fire," explains one anonymous source. "You let a fire burn on its own, it can destroy, and that's enough sometimes. But if you know how to control a fire, you can not only destroy with it, but also cook with it, burn away germs with it, even put out other fires with it. Antoine's gifts and skills help him wield the UCB's wildfire like a flamethrower."

So does that make Antoine the leader of the UCB? Not exactly. "To the rest of the UCB, he's like a criminal that becomes a police informant," explains the anonymous source. "They need his information, and they act on it, but they don't trust why he has it." Sometimes this mistrust of Antoine's methodical mind rears its head in the form of inter-operative relationships: Antoine is often the butt of other agents' practical jokes, and some have accused him of being a cyborg.

But the organization Antoine brings to the Upright Citizens Brigade is nothing compared to the ruthless structure he forces on himself; Antoine has hundreds of intricate daily rituals he follows in order to keep mentally disciplined. Just one example: Antoine keeps several glass jars in his personal quarters, each one filled with a different kind of awfulness -- one is filled with killer bees, one with scorpions, one with fire ants, etc. Whenever Antoine begins to feel sleepy, he takes one of the jars off the shelf and holds it while he leans against a wall to rest. The implication is frighteningly clear: if Antoine doesn't wake up the moment before he's about to fall asleep, the jar slips from his hand, shatters on the floor and unleashes its contents on him. "It's a cross between one of Thomas Edison's mental discipline techniques and an old Czechoslovakian torture," explains an unnamed source. "But to Antoine, it's a ritual that's as natural and necessary as brushing your teeth before bed."

Chaos comes just as naturally to Antoine: he masterminded Watergate and IranScam, and created the entire franchise of Professional Wrestling based on a dream he had one night.

Upright Citizens Brigade